adulting persuasion

When you think of “persuasion”, you probably think of a car or furniture salesman pulling every trick they can to get you to spend the most money in the least amount of time. And while it’s true sales people employ this skill more frequently than other occupations, once familiar with a few fundamental persuasion principles, you may find yourself using it everyday too.

For reference, all of the examples are based on Dr. Robert Cialdini’s six principles of persuasion, namely:

  1. Scarcity
  2. Reciprocity
  3. Authority
  4. Commitment/Consistency
  5. Social Proof
  6. Liking.

Let’s take a look at each and find non-sales situations where you can develop and leverage your persuasion skills

Scarcity

There are a few angles you can take with this principle.

First, there’s the limited supply option. For example, you’ll often hear furniture commercials that alert you “when it’s gone, it’s gone!”. But at work, you can leverage it to build commitment for a program. Share the program’s benefits with a colleague or direct report but stress that seats are limited so a timely decision is critical.

Next is the limited time option. This reminds me of those cheesy infomercials which offer two products for the price of one if you “call in the next 20 minutes!”. But even if you aren’t selling a product, any offer you make can have a deadline. For example, my four year old son can be indecisive when it comes to selecting a snack. I’ve learned to list his options and let him know he has 30 seconds to make a decision. If he doesn’t meet the deadline, he’s in charge of getting one on his own, which limits his options because he doesn’t have access to everything I offer.

A third scarcity take is high demand. This one is similar to the Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) sentiment. You inform the other party that what you are offering is highly sought after and they don’t want to be the only person who doesn’t get it. Let’s say you’re a manager and you want to encourage your direct reports to sign up for a specific conference. Letting them know that it sells out early every year may entice them more than any agenda or keynote speaker – the idea that so many other people want to attend may be all the convincing they need.

The final scarcity tactic is to create a unique opportunity. To apply this tactic, let someone know they have the option to be the first (or one of the firsts) to participate in a program, assume a specific role or responsibility, etc. They will perceive the offer as an opportunity to develop a competitive advantage over their peers.

Reciprocity

The simple analogy for this principle is the latin “quid pro quo” which translates to “something for something”. It’s the classic negotiation tactic in all relationships, but let’s look at an example at home. Let’s say you really hate cleaning toilets. Using the reciprocity principle, you make a deal with your roommate/spouse/child that if he or she cleans the toilet, you’ll clean the shower. You’re exchanging this (toilet cleaning) for that (shower cleaning).

Authority

Would you rather get your taxes done by a Certified Public Accountant or by a guy you files taxes on the side? Certifications, degrees and awards provide the credibility and proof we need to give the other party our trust.

So how can you demonstrate authority? Include designations and awards in your email signature and your LinkedIn profile tagline and/or on your website. Share personal anecdotes that demonstrate your experience and accomplishments when presenting, interviewing or networking.

Commitment/Consistency

Chain letters in the 90s and “copy & share if you agree” posts on Facebook are prime examples of the commitment and consistency persuasion principle. People are driven to demonstrate values or sentiments they’ve expressed before. This is a great principle to employ in a project situation. Reminding a project team member of an interest they’ve expressed in the past and linking it to a responsibility within the project will compel them to assume said responsibility. To do so otherwise could be perceived as inconsistency. 

Social Proof

Dr. Cialdini included social proof when he initially published his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion in 1984, but the rise of social media has created a career path from it – the Influencer. Influencers thrive on the logic that if they have so many followers what they use, promote and sell must be worthy of my time and money too. But how can you use this principal in a traditional work environment? Include testimonials, success stories and/or statistics when sharing a new idea. The other party(ies) want to ensure the idea has been vetted and can be successful, especially when it is new or significantly different from their expectations.

Liking

Finally, we buy from people we like. This is why a salesperson will often offer a compliment in the first minute or two of a conversation. To employ this principle without coming off as cheesy or disingenuous, use the other person’s name in the conversation. Subconsciously, we all like to hear our own names and will find the other party friendlier when they use it. Whether it’s your boss, peer or direct report, using his or her name in casual conversations can go a long way in building rapport.

There you have it – six principles and nine different ways to use them, without a product to sell in sight. 

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